You found yourself to jon’s blog space. Well whoopdy do. As you might imagine this will not be a censored, happy, or politically correct place. Likely topics include politics, religion, and stupid people. So if you can’t handle it… GET THE FUCK OUT NOW. If you’re a whiny little bitch, no one wants you, just leave. Fair warning, this is still a part of the aint saints radio server so, those terms and conditions apply here too. (TOS)
Glossy gray glass
perforates colored beauty
into dreary reality
of place meaning
Clouds loom above
Blocking the eastern sun
oldest family’s door
louder than any voice
the door that opens
through the path of sorrows
nameless, forgotten peace
peace that reminds
looming clouds do recede
frozen time does move on
Instead of following the normal pattern, this week I thought a moment of reflection would do. I wanted to take this chance and back peddle a bit and give myself something of an introduction.
I am not a yogi, or any other type of spiritual leader. (In truth I tend to laugh at those sorts, something to do with megalomania.) I am someone who, since being a small child has felt that “this cant be all of it.” Long before I knew the names Buddhism, Siddhartha, zen came to much the same conclusions those do. While my writing is loosely based off their tradition, I am not a Buddhist. My writing is my interpretation of my search for “something more.” I am not trying to convert, but communicate.
The impressions I have about the world, reality, time, space, and “I” are all deeply personal. I do my best to, in my writing, put you the reader into a state of mind similar to that of myself when going off into whatever the thought for the day is.
And now, for something completely different:
Three guys walk into a bar, the fourth guy ducks.
The sun of your soul
Fading to the point of end
The will to survive lost
Within walls of the tomb
Darkness disguised as holy light
Given as gift, from friends
Soon looses the illusion
Release the dark heart of pain.
Pandora’s box upon the world
Misery added to hate and suffering
Left to sadness, and despair
Hope now a shallow memory
Love, once abundant beyond all else
Now but a shimmering mirage on the horizon
A distant feeling all but forgotten
Left to a cold dark desert
The light that is your soul
Now fading into darkness
The will to continue
Left in shambles
Suffering as a caged bird.
No sight of joyful memories
Only the inescapable end
Of life forgotten
Destiny, the hope of change
Fated a life of darkness
Visions of joy, no longer
Lost to Death Eternal
Find Yourself in a moment, and make it your own, free of any preconceived notions. Challenge thoughts that involve “should,” “would,” or “could.”
To often we judge ourselves by the standards set down by others. Ideas like good and bad.
These perceptions, imparted to us since youth, distract us from the truth: there is no good, no bad. The only value to our thoughts, our actions, our existence is that which we ourselves impose on it. To distract ourselves with others ideas, to impose them on ourselves only serves to trap us in an illusion of perpetuity, endlessly seeking an unattainable conception. Reject all conceptions. Take nothing as a given. Explore your own existence, perceive your own world.
Find yourself in a moment. Leave behind the beliefs of who, what, when, where, why, and find yourself in a moment.
“and rains you into existence”
“And some kind of gatorade induced orgy”
“I’m a home record, baby”
“Love is like a stale twinky”
“take me to poetic wonderland”
“if I’m sick, I don’t desire to be well”
“too big, wild… perfect”
“all he is now, the gesture to the restless.”
Find yourself in a moment. Remember. See, if you can, the change that has happened.
In this world nothing is certain. Change is a good thing, despite how it feels some times. It reminds us that we are alive. However, very often we are the last to see the changes within ourselves. By the time we notice, it’s already long in the past. It is important to take note of the changes we undergo. That is not to say we dwell on the past, reliving who we used to be, but rather noticing how quickly life happens. Remembering the sacrifices of the past, drawing strength from the hardships faced, and overcome, and finding the will to push forward onto new lessons.
Find yourself in a moment. See all the things that throw our lives into disarray. Embrace the change, and Find yourself in a moment.
Pain in the fit of rage,
Words said, things done,
That’ll never change
The past now gone.
Hatred, transformed to the tear,
Rolling down my face.
Things done out of fear,
Love, pushed away, without a trace.
Clinging to my shallow hope
That all has not withered ‘way.
Knowing I could not cope,
The price too high to pay.
Heart torn in two.
Sweet bliss turned sour.
Nothing left to do,
But end with a flower.
Find yourself in a moment. Realize it is all you have. Ask yourself “How do I receive this gift?”
The past, and future disguise what is truly important. We hide behind our fears of the future, our regrets of the past, and forsake our present. The only time we can take action is right now: all the rest is illusion.
Within the moment anything is possible, when you make it. How we choose to act defines our moments. Do we choose the same things that have failed us, limited us: or do we choose to open ourselves to new possibilities.
Find yourself in a moment. Receive it for what it is. Act without any bias, watch as the world remakes itself.
Find yourself in a moment.—–
Hands stained of evil,
Thoughts broken with unforgiving disparity
Ideas, unaware of the pain they cause.
As the pen pierces my heart,
Knowledge once within, escapes me,
Lost in the calculations, without a hope,
Forests of crumpled paper, gather on the floor
My hands, relentlessly struggle, to yet no avail.
With each new draft, answers slowly die.
Fighting for the solution, unseen.
Suffering over the incompatible math
Every possibility seems so flawed.
Chances, of love rekindled, nearly gone.
Divided by 2 with each new misconception.
My hand breaks, blood now flows.
Answers, covered thick in red.
Total failure in the books.
One true love, lost forever
Find yourself in a moment. In that moment, see beyond it. Realize the consecutive and infinite chain of moments. Feel the effects of your actions around you and realize the reactions of such choices. Understand “free will.”
Move beyond the shallow and meaningless ways of acting based purely on the perpetuation of momentary satisfaction. Shed yourself of the illusory meanings that we hide behind.
Find yourself in a moment, and act for a pure and perfect future. Relinquish yourself to a greater good; and in so, find yourself in your new, changed form. Find yourself in a moment.